Giving A Second Chance To A Relationship? Pros & Cons

When Should You Give Someone A Second Chance


When it comes to relationships, think about it this way: they’re complex and ever-changing. Sometimes they’re great, and sometimes they’re not so great. But what’s important is to see the relationship for what it truly is, and let go of any unrealistic version or expectation of it.

Being in a relationship can be a really great thing. However, if there’s been a conflict or mistake that’s hurt your relationship, you need to think about it and take action. 

Not everyone deserves a second chance.


It is important that you process your emotions correctly so that you do not get trapped in the pattern of breaking up and getting back together endlessly. More often than not, it is the trauma bond that keeps people hooked to the drama in a relationship.

Everyone makes mistakes. But first, you need to ask yourself if this is a one-time error or a pattern. It all depends on the main issue for the rift; for instance, in the case of chronic lying or cheating, one may not be in a position to forgive the other and build trust again.

Trust your gut and don’t get swayed by emotions. It is important to be sure, instead of feeling obligated to give them another chance. If you feel there has been a change in action and not just words, you may wish to give it a shot. Focus on all the red and green flags in the relationship, before taking the plunge again. After all, the quality of our relationships impacts every facet of our lives.

Before giving someone a second chance, make sure you know the following: 

  • Why they cheated
  • If they’re really sorry
  • What they’ve changed about themselves
  • If you can trust them again
bad relationship

It is essential that you process your emotions correctly so that you do not get trapped in the pattern of breaking up and getting back together endlessly. More often than not, it is the trauma bond that keeps people hooked to the drama in a relationship.

Of course, we are humans and make mistakes. But you first need to understand, if this is a one-time error or a pattern. Moreover, it all depends on the main issue for the rift; for instance, in the case of chronic lying or cheating, one may not be in a position to forgive the other and build trust again.

Trust your gut and don’t get swayed by emotions. It is important to be sure, instead of feeling obligated to give them another chance. In case, you feel that there has been a change in action and not just words, you may wish to give it a shot. Focus on all the red and green flags in the relationship, before taking the plunge again. After all, the quality of our relationships impacts every facet of our lives.


bad relationship


These are all important factors to consider before making a decision.

1. Can you forgive them?

This, by far, is the most important step because if you aren’t willing to forgive and look past the mistake, it will be an endless saga of drama and trauma for both in the future. Holding a grudge never does any good. If you are unable to forgive your partner and feel that the mistake is big enough to end the relationship, honor the decision, and don’t get back together.

However, if you do get back and you decide to give it a second chance, be sure to start on a clean slate without any grudge, taunts, or baggage. Feeling resentful, or fearful and bringing up the same topic over and over again, would make a deeper scar in the relationship and add to pain for both.

2. Have they acknowledged and apologized for their mistake?

Is your partner acting like nothing happened? Is he blaming you for being oversensitive or are they genuinely acknowledging the error and apologizing for messing up? The apology has to be genuine, instead of manipulation or paying lip service. Let them take responsibility for the mess, watch their actions (and not just focus on their words), and accept the apology only when you are clear about your feelings and theirs.

3. Are you both committed to making it work?

The drive to nurture the relationship has to come from both. Authentic communication, compassion, gratitude, honoring personal space, being open about feelings, verbalizing your expectations, making bigger changes, offering, and receiving constructive feedback, and practicing effective conflict resolution are key to a healthy relationship.

Read more at: http://dlvr.it/SK086L

Source and Credits:


By: Dr Chandni Tugnait

https://www.healthshots.com/mind/emotional-health/3-things-to-consider-before-giving-a-second-chance-in-a-relationship/
Youtube Channel Image
Health - Fitness tips and Dogs Subscribe To watch more Wellness-Health tips
Subscribe